Blog

Frustrated

I hate this!
Open relationship
I long for your kiss
But all I taste are his lips

I miss you
I want to be in your arms
I’m so confused
Entranced by his charms

All I can presently think about
Is watching our shows with you
Cuddling comfortably without
The discomfort we never knew

The visions I can’t get off my mind
Seeing your bright cheesy smile
The sweet feeling of your hand in mine
Crying on your shoulder for a while

If I could I would rewind, go back
And give myself a stern warning
Save myself from the panic attacks
The emptiness I feel this morning

I want to be with the one I love
I can’t believe I ever desired another
Hopefully in time we can rise above
Before this nightmare goes on further

I thought I needed sex
But it doesn’t satisfy me
What I need is my ex
To know you’re my destiny

Maybe if I pass your test
It’ll all end in ecstasy
I’ll again lay on your chest
In an atmosphere so heavenly

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I would do anything for love

Listening to break-up songs gives me no relief
They were cheated on and mistreated and lied to
With what they say, I could just not relate or agree
All the words that you said were honest and true
I want so badly to trap you and never set you free
But I want your happiness, whatever’s best for you

I know that loving me is tiring and exhausting
I know I’m clingy, needy, moody, and jealous
You used to think I was sweeter than frosting
I guess you realized no one is that precious
Always concerned with how much it’s costing,
You never could balance the spreadsheet on us

I know that it’s not exactly the end, but just a change
And you’re reasonable as usual, logical, full of sense
Not even knowing who they are, makes it more strange
Every time I think about you with them, I get so tense
I worry that your feelings will somehow be estranged
I couldn’t climb nearly high enough to pass your fence

I want to show you that I can be the one you need
I’m going to do everything in my power to improve
If I set my mind and focus, I am sure I can succeed
Concentrating on work and school is my first move
Right now, I’m wounded. I can do nothing but bleed
But soon, I’ll grow up, finally listening to your reprove

Missing You

I just don’t quite understand
If you love me, why do you need space?
I want to kiss your lips, hold your hand,
See the sincerity of passion in your gaze
But now, I want to bury my head in the sand
Because seeing you makes me feel so out of place
When did loving me become a tedious errand?
When did you decide to run from the chase?
This isn’t exactly what I had planned
Unravelling your affections like a shoelace
I was living on a cloud somewhere in fairyland
A stark contrast to the afflictions of the human race
I used to long desperately for a wedding band
Now I only long hopelessly for your embrace
If only I had the power and assertiveness to demand
Rescind your immersed indentation, all emotions erased
I must rid myself of forbidden thoughts, cherished contraband
Reclaim my heart which you tagged and defaced
This is more pain than my unstable soul can withstand
Dissatisfiedly settling for the aching memory of your face

Archaic Thinking

“He’s a murderer; she’s a thief; he’s a liar.
There’s not a shred of proof or evidence,
But you simply can’t trust their kind.

They came here and spread like wildfire.
They have little intelligence,
They are violent and criminally inclined.

All they want and desire
Is to grow in prevalence,
until all races are intertwined.

And all we want is a purifier,
To maintain our spotless separateness,
To keep the blood lines clean and uncombined.”

If I could, I would scream into an amplifier,
“Stop this venomous malevolence,
this ignorant endemic of the mind.”

I would be a peace-maker, a pacifier,
“Your archaic thinking is incredulous.
Antiquated, outdated, and from an era left behind.

After centuries of hate have transpired,
You spit out nothing but ancient reckless petulance.
Your malignant prejudice deeply enshrined.”

We must aim for a purpose significantly higher.
To appreciate our diversity, specialness, and uniqueness
Racism radically denied, unity of humanity redefined.

Archaic- Daily Post

Uneasy

Worried
Wondering about the future
Wallowing in feelings of worthlessness

Apprehensive
Actively searching for my composure
Alleviating and ameliorating my anxiousness

Hopeless
Held hostage by my thoughts
Hovering over an experience of helplessness

Discouraged
Desperately defeated by what I sought
Disturbed dismally, doomed to disquietness

Rattlebrained
Required to fulfill responsibilities
Rambunctiously revoking a sense of relaxedness

Uneasy
Unnervingly underestimating my abilities
Unaccepting of my brain’s unending urgentness

A rap for my students

Don’t they know I write poems on the daily?
14 year old kids thinking they can slay me?
Why do they think they can sit here and play me?

Not even born when Eminem started rapping,
I spit a few bars and they all started clapping.

They’re surprised that I have any rhythm,
Don’t even know the difference in he and him.

Their, they’re there, they have no grammar
They think there’s glory ending up in the slammer,
They have to work all their lives with hammers,
Or they’ll make millions as professional jammers.

They need to do their work, get good grades,
So they can grow up, get a job, and get paid.
It’s time they get some sense; learn a decent trade.
Don’t just let all that talent and potential fade.

Disappear

All eyes are on me
The vacant glares piercing
The empty stares burning
They’re so cold, I freeze
Their sting as potent as bees

I don’t want the spotlight
The loud voices sneering
The laughing faces jeering
I tremble and shake with fright
Will I take flight or stay to fight?

I wish to flee far away, to run
To be anywhere else but here
To close my eyes, vanish, disappear
To not fear being shunned
To soak in the water, bask in the sun

I long hopefully for anonymity
To get my message out without being seen
To hide behind a perfect figure on the screen
Invincible invisibility
Anxiety without remedy

I want to connect with my audience
But stage fright is my sole company
My opponent is a well known enemy
I remember my rhythm while nauseous
Praying my discomfort isn’t obvious

I look puzzled at the light
Stunned speechless by the brightness
Trying to talk, but it’s a hot mess
Telling myself it will be alright
Picturing a scene black as night

I find calmness, serenity, and peace
I don’t look at all the people watching
All I hear is my own voice talking
Finally, my trembling begins to cease
And I recite my poem with sweet release

Disappear

Awkward

Strange. Weird.
Out of place.
Wacky. Goofy.
A cheesy face.

Stuttering. Silent.
Struggling to speak.
Outsider. Outcast.
A bit of a freak.

My compassion is strong,
but my social skills weak.
Sometimes, things come out wrong.
Sometimes, I’m shy and meek.
Knowing all along,
it’s your friendship that I seek.

Trying too hard to fit in.
Pretending not to care what you think of me.
Searching desperately for friends.
Wondering how you make it look so easy.
Until the day I realized we’re all different.
Knowing everyone is awkward, set me free.

Awkward

Premature (Enjoy life)

I was born into this world
A little early, premature
Excited to face the future ahead
Impatient, not carried to full term
I came out crying and screaming
So eager to wiggle and squirm
Anxiously awaiting my future life
Ready to develop, grow, and learn
And as I grew older, I still desired
To age quickly, my heart did yearn
Being in control, being responsible
Being the boss was my main concern
Husband, house, kids, career
These things took too much time to earn
So, I rushed and raced hurriedly
The flame inside me hungrily burned
Never realizing life wasn’t a to-do list
That my timeline would unravel in turn
Running rapidly like a hamster
Watching my wheels churn
From ashes we were formed
To dust someday we will return
Take in each moment, every day
Use your wisdom to discern
We never know when our life will end
At what moment our being will adjourn

Infect

Instantaneously Infected
Conspicuously creeping in my veins
Unnoticeably Undetected
Inflicting impenetrable pain

Gradually growing stronger
Dissipating deadly disease
Diligently dispersing longer
Rapidly Replicating with ease

Carelessly consuming
Recklessly wretched
Your poison polluting
My anatomy unprotected

My defenses disarmed
Armor-less and unshielded
Unapprehensively unalarmed
My youthfulness yielded

Lacklusterly lethargic
Wearily weaponless
Depressingly discarded
Helplessly hopeless

Dauntlessly defiled
Valiantly voided
Ejected and exiled
Exposed and exploited

Infect